Top Dog Puns

I remember helping a friend trim the fur off his small dog. It was a moment of shear terrier.

A dog gave birth to puppies on the side of the road, dog was ticketed for littering

It's ok that it's raining cats and dogs, as long as it doesn't rein deer

Somebody was running a flea circus until the dog came along and stole the show.

A dog not only has a fur coat, but pants too

I agreed to watch my neighbor's dog, but only if it didn't scratch me, it's in the clause.

These dog puns are a little ruff.

Chicken/Birds/Water Fowl Puns

Pun of Chicken Crossing RoadA chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion

All the waterfowl kept their eyes closed, except of the Peking Duck.

Cows/Horses/Misc Farm Animals

Calves take well to bottle feeding because one nipple is as good as the udder

If multiple horses form a circle, are they considered to be equine-distant from the center?

This horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey, buddy, why the long face?"

It's time to horse around

You're never pasture prime to ride


Deer PunVenison for dinner? Oh deer.

Mother deer was just trying to have a little fawn

I love you deerly

Pun of Deer

In The Jungle

A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat when he came across two men; one was sitting under a tree reading a book while the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him proving even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.

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Many Rabbit Puns

5000 hares escaped from the zoo, police are combing the area

How do you catch a one-of-a-kind rabbit? You-neek up on it.

Old Dinosaurs Jokes

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

Beaver/Otters/Bears Puns

I saw a beaver movie last night, it was the best dam movie ever.

That is otter non-sense.

Bear: I built this with my bear hands.

Bugs/Insects/Snakes/Creepy Crawlers

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie

Nice Boo BeesBugs have very diverse religious views because they are all in-sects

The termite with the toothache walks into a bar and asks, "is the bar tender here?"

This grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper replies "Really? You have a drink named Steve?!"

A snake slithers into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you." "Why not?" asks the snake. The bartender says, "Because you can't hold your liquor..."

Bee Puns

Favorite Flower: Bee-gonias
Favorite Vacation Spot: Stingapore
A Bee Born in May: Maybee
What bees do for a living: Cell their honey
Favorite Snack: Bumble Gum
Favorite Motto: Bee all that you can bee
Favorite Musician: Sting or Bee 52's
Blood Type: Bee Positive

Two bees ran into each other. One asked the other how things were going.
"Really bad," said the second bee. "The weather has been really wet and damp. There aren't any flowers or pollen, so I can't make any honey."
"No problem," said the first bee. "Just fly down five blocks and turn left and keep going until you see all the cars. There's a Bar Mitzvah going on. There are all kinds of fresh flowers and fresh fruit."
"Thanks for the tip," said the second bee and flew away.
A few hours later the two bees ran into each other again and the first bee asked, "How'd it go?"
"Fine," said the second bee, "It was everything you said it would be."
"Uh, what's that thing on your head?" asked the first bee.
"That's my yamaka," said the second bee. "I didn't want them to think I was a wasp."

All you have to do is "beelieve" in me

You kids better beehive

Quit pollen my leg

We are just winging it with these bee puns

These bee puns really sting

Most of these should be on the "Bee" list

In the Ocean Puns

Pun of the OceanBest way to communicate with fish is to drop them a line

This baby seal walks into a bar and the bartender says,"What'll ya have..." The seal says, "Anything but a Canadian Club...

Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy...

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