Top Dog Puns
I remember helping a friend trim the fur off his small dog. It was a moment of shear terrier.
A dog gave birth to puppies on the side of the road, dog was ticketed for littering
It's ok that it's raining cats and dogs, as long as it doesn't rein deer
Somebody was running a flea circus until the dog came along and stole the show.
A dog not only has a fur coat, but pants too
I agreed to watch my neighbor's dog, but only if it didn't scratch me, it's in the clause.
These dog puns are a little ruff.
Chicken/Birds/Water Fowl Puns
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion
All the waterfowl kept their eyes closed, except of the Peking Duck.
Cows/Horses/Misc Farm Animals
Calves take well to bottle feeding because one nipple is as good as the udder
If multiple horses form a circle, are they considered to be equine-distant from the center?
This horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey, buddy, why the long face?"
It's time to horse around
You're never pasture prime to ride
Deer
Venison for dinner? Oh deer.
Mother deer was just trying to have a little fawn
I love you deerly
In The Jungle
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat when he came across two men; one was sitting under a tree reading a book while the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him proving even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.
Many Rabbit Puns
5000 hares escaped from the zoo, police are combing the area
How do you catch a one-of-a-kind rabbit? You-neek up on it.
Beaver/Otters/Bears Puns
I saw a beaver movie last night, it was the best dam movie ever.
That is otter non-sense.
Bear: I built this with my bear hands.
Bugs/Insects/Snakes/Creepy Crawlers
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie
Bugs have very diverse religious views because they are all in-sects
The termite with the toothache walks into a bar and asks, "is the bar tender here?"
This grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper replies "Really? You have a drink named Steve?!"
A snake slithers into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you." "Why not?" asks the snake. The bartender says, "Because you can't hold your liquor..."
Bee Puns
Favorite Flower: Bee-gonias
Favorite Vacation Spot: Stingapore
A Bee Born in May: Maybee
What bees do for a living: Cell their honey
Favorite Snack: Bumble Gum
Favorite Motto: Bee all that you can bee
Favorite Musician: Sting or Bee 52's
Blood Type: Bee Positive
Two bees ran into each other. One asked the other how things were going.
"Really bad," said the second bee. "The weather has been really wet and damp. There aren't any flowers or pollen, so I can't make any honey."
"No problem," said the first bee. "Just fly down five blocks and turn left and keep going until you see all the cars. There's a Bar Mitzvah going on. There are all kinds of fresh flowers and fresh fruit."
"Thanks for the tip," said the second bee and flew away.
A few hours later the two bees ran into each other again and the first bee asked, "How'd it go?"
"Fine," said the second bee, "It was everything you said it would be."
"Uh, what's that thing on your head?" asked the first bee.
"That's my yamaka," said the second bee. "I didn't want them to think I was a wasp."
All you have to do is "beelieve" in me
You kids better beehive
Quit pollen my leg
We are just winging it with these bee puns
These bee puns really sting
Most of these should be on the "Bee" list
Best way to communicate with fish is to drop them a line